Stellar

Sep. 10th, 2015 12:44 pm
memoirsverse: (Evelyn)
[personal profile] memoirsverse
An entry in Evelyn's private handwritten journal.

When you fall in love with a star you may not even realize it at first. Night after night after night, you will step from your safe little house, slipping past the threshold to emerge beneath the expanse of shimmering infinity, and you will look up and see it, that one star. And you will smile, and you will say, “Such a beautiful star. It shines so brightly, and so intensely. So furiously!” And you wonder at its ancientness, wonder what things it has seen, the aeons that have swirled endlessly beneath it on worlds you’ve only ever dreamt of. For a fleeting instant on one of these nights, you may think of it as Your star, but then you realize what a foolish notion that is, how thoroughly offensive even. As if anyone could ever own a star.

And the star is distant, and you often believe that you can detect a kindness directed your way, a gentle fondness within its silvery light; but still it is always distant, though paradoxically you feel as though you could touch it simply by lifting a hand. It looks cold, an icy luminous diamond against the eternal blackness of the sky, but you know it isn’t cold, not really. It’s just very, very far away, and you wonder what it would be like to be close to the star– truly close. You would be vaporized, of course. In an instant. Obliterated within the unfathomable pressure, the burning, untameable inferno of its core. One does not try to embrace a star. But sometimes, just sometimes, you think it might be worth it.
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